Interview by Renee Slansky of www.thedatingdirectory.com
Women of the Week : Devina Kaur
Why we love her: (admin)
Social Media: Please use #SexyBrilliant to find Devina and her message of empowerment.
>>> Sexy Brilliant!!!!
In July of 2016 I found my life purpose through my dating addiction.
In short, whenever I received a text message from a potential mate: I would reply,“Always sexy, always brilliant.” It kind of stuck! Through the years of being single, my struggles and my failures became my greatest gift.
I did not know I had a dating addiction and I share the full story in my first book in the Sexy Brilliant series called -
Too Fat! Too Loud! Too Ambitious!
>>> Spreading Sexy Brilliance around via Television, social media, speaking at events is my passion. I’m also working on book 2 and 3 in the Sexy Brilliant series.
What is Sexy Brilliant?
>>> Sexy Brilliant is a self-love uprising, which inspires and empowers men and women to live an authentic, confident, happy life. Its goal is to overcome limiting beliefs to instead allow us to become a beacon of light and love. Sexy Brilliant is a movement that reveals and embraces our inner light and acknowledges we are a sexy gift, created by a divine being.
5 favourite things:
>>> Just five??? LOL!!! Social media connections, networking including building relationships, laughing 100 times a day, practicing self-love by taking care of my body and emotions. Similarly, reading, and learning about all kinds of thing as this facilitates self-discovery
1: What do you love about yourself?
>>> Hahaha! I define myself as an eccentric butterfly who is winging it on her way so my eccentric nature.
My biggest gift is my ability to laugh at myself. I was not always like this. It has taken a great deal of work to acknowledge my dark side, like yin and yang, and that my all of me deserves love and respect. I love everything and all that I know about myself, this includes my ego. I especially love how I talk to myself. With positivity, kindness and courage every single day.
2: What is the message that you want to get across to women of the world?
>>> Know who you are. Be kind to yourself first. Be kind whenever possible, even though it doesn’t guarantee everyone will return the favor. However, if I had to put money down, I would bet the odds are in favor of the person who is FOCUSED- on helping others!
3: What inspired you to write your book?
>>> We are all unique, and in our journeys. We can all help someone else.
To be honest, I am not a writer and never thought I would write. One day I was sitting with my life coach. He suggested I share my struggles and my unique journey. My jaw dropped open in shock. I looked at him with my mouth open and said, ”Me? Write? A book? Are you crazy?” LOL
That is where it started. I thought about writing. I thought it was impossible but then I changed my mindset to make it happen. It took other people to see the gift in me. This is where surrounding ourselves with people who are more brilliant comes in handy. I worked with specialists and worked on my personal development. This is the best gift we can give ourselves. This is also true of love and relationships. We are all worthy of love, connection and safety.
4: What is your definition of love?
Self-love is the prerequisite to happiness. And as we lift ourselves up in self-love, we can more easily choose to rise in love with ourselves and others as a result.
Let me explain. The more I know myself,the more love I have for myself. This means loving all of me, the dark, the bright, the body in all of its perfection and wholeness. Love is to know that we are perfect as we are.
5: Why do you think so many people struggle with dating now?
>>>We live in a world of over consumerism, in a world where we are constantly competing with ourselves for the next best fix. Which also leaves us with less time to develop our skills and our relationship with ourselves. There is a major culture shift, very different from our parents times where gender roles were clearly defined. Now we are starting to question our very own existence and search for fulfillment. We think that a partner, a job, a relationship, the next trip, the next fix will fulfill us. In effect, we are forgetting to connect with our own core. It comes back to first developing a healthy relationship with ourselves and being complete and whole. The more “whole” we are, the more completeness we will attract into our lives.
5a. How to be whole?
>>>Good question. We need to work on personal development, awareness, and self-knowledge. Part of it is to change the story that we tell ourselves. Let me share my most recent date story about Robert. I met a very good looking man and the first thing I said to myself. “Robert would never want to be in a relationship with me because he is so good looking”. I mean really? In my head - I was making assumptions about Robert and his interest in me. Once I became aware of this insecurity that was going through my head I started to change the messages I was repeating to myself. Instead I said to myself. “Robert is hot, but then so am I, let's see if he has the ability to keep up with my sexiness and brilliance.”
The point being that it’s absolutely OK to be vulnerable and have insecurities but it is also upto us to change the message we repeat to ourselves. Positive self-talk is part of the process towards becoming ‘whole’.
6: What makes a woman sexy? Give us your top tips to boost their confidence!
>>>Self-awareness is key. The better we know ourselves the more confident we become in our being. This inner confidence helps increase our productivity as well as share ourselves,our desires, our wants and knowledge with our partners, families and in our social circles
7: How can people cultivate self-love?
>>> Self-love is a journey and the journey to love is love itself.
Our basic human nature is compassion, the more self-compassion we practice the more we accept ourselves and acceptance leads to self-love.
The journey to self-love is love itself.
8: What would be your dating tip to men and women looking for love?
>>> Dating is a like looking for a new job or a new career. It is a journey, be willing to take risks (calculated). Be open- in the end height, weight, skin colour are superficies. What matters most is shared values, goals, integrity, intelligence and common sense. Be the person you wish to attract. Be love.
9: What do you think the key is to building strong relationships?
>>> The keys to building a strong relationship is kindness, friendship, communication and self-knowledge. The more we know and love ourselves, the more we can share with our partner and the world. Relationships are about evolving together and accepting each other as we are. Working as a team to reach the next state of perfection without changing each other.
10: How can women create more genuine connections with men when dating in a busy-fast-paced-tech world?
>>> We live in such high paced world where we women are constantly competing for jobs, equality in the workforce all while managing families often as single mothers (in my case). What we forget is that masculine and the feminine energy are part of the same nucleus. It’s great that we women are discovering our ambitious side where we are financially independent. This is truly fantastic! We are catching up to the other gender. At the same time, we must allow our men to feel safe, open and vulnerable. By that I mean taking the pressure off men where they are constantly asked to be the provider, the macho, the masculine. Yes, we have all this but also helping our male counterpart feel safe to discover his inner divine feminine. I recently had an eye opening moment where I had a man cry on a first date. I write about this on my blog - www.sexybrilliant.com