Gone are the days of ambivalence and wondering how I should handle myself in business. As a result of years of deep, personal work, I know myself. I am an entrepreneur first and foremost – I am focused on mindfully conducting a successful business. I will never let anything get in the way of my ambitions and my desire for global empowerment from the inside out. This does not mean, however, that I make allowances for bad behaviour from potential workmates or from someone with whom I currently do business. No matter how much I want to work with them.
The truth is, we teach our colleagues how to treat us as women, but first we must be willing to be honest, to be open, and to know ourselves. Business relationships are no different than our personal relationships: because they are interconnected, what we are willing to accept in one area, we are likely to accept in the other as both are simply different facets of the same, beautiful person. The more authenticity we practice, the easier it is to shine in our own brilliance. Remember, no part of ourselves is our enemy. Boundaries empower us. They are the key to success. The following true story reveals how quickly these situations can unfold and require us to be our Sexy Brilliant best at a moment’s notice.
In late 2017, I had a meeting with my business associate Paul about a new venture. At one point, I felt tension in the room. The minute his intention changed, we both recognized it. It was as if the very air in the room was electrically charged. For more than two years, we had a strong working chemistry and a professional friendship. My defense mechanism was heightened by the charged atmosphere. My protective shield went up as Paul gave me that sexual look, where his eyes revealed more than just his business considerations of our meeting, but also his lust for me . I felt very disturbed as I do not mix business and pleasure.
As a powerful business woman, who meets all kinds of successful men in business, in Hollywood, and lately in Bollywood, I am never swayed into mixing business and pleasure. Although this desire from a man was not new to me, it was still awkward and unexpected. I consulted with my inner sexy wisdom, which almost never fails me. How did I, Divine Devina want to take this forward? Because getting naked with him was never an option for me.
My associate is a powerful man, but is he someone who will share positive energy with me and enrich my life if I opened myself up to his advances? Is he someone with whom I would share my my sexy self? Besides a sexual release, what else would I gain? What would I lose?
The difference between him and a potential, romantic date is that Paul is a work associate, and the SEXY BRILLIANT rules include never mixing business and pleasure. Ever!
There we were: sexual tension shimmering in the air between us, and we were both super aware of it. Finally, I decided to laugh it off as a part of one of my Sexy Brilliant goals of laughing at least 100 times a day. I said, “You can look but you can’t touch.” Paul was surprised, he acknowledged my forthrightness, and he respected my decision to say no.
By acknowledging the sexual tension in the room, I took back my own power. I created confidence by listening to my inner wisdom. When it comes to such dilemmas, we have to be honest with ourselves and the people around us, evaluate the situation, and embrace the results. If it had been the old, needy me in such a situation, who did not know my life purpose, who did not know herself, I might have disempowered myself and given in to the power play. I may have violated my own boundary because I did not have the courage to say no. Taking the power back and making the choice about with whom, when, and where we are intimate is what true empowerment is all about.
With Paul, as with any other person in a similar setting, I knew I had too much to lose to violate my own rules, my reputation, my ethics, and my self-worth. I am grateful that I am able to create boundaries and hold myself to them. Thank you, Paul, for accepting my, “No,” and for keeping your hands off my fine, sexy self. Without a doubt, there are clear lines of communication that must remain open. This openness requires an acknowledgement that those lines may get crossed by pushy people, or by people who are simply unaware, or at a different level in their evolutionary process. My Sexy Brilliant, self-created, and applied rules dictate how to handle a boundary pusher.
As much as we may like and appreciate attention from others, not all attention is healthy or appropriate attention, and it is up to us to determine how we classify the attention we receive. How do you handle people who attempt to cross your boundaries?