How stupid can Rob be? Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a fella I met on set called Rob. He told me that he broke up with his girlfriend because she was too emotional. I was surprised and this is conversation followed.
Devina: "That's a strange statement."
Devina: "That's a generalization, of ‘too’ anything. Emotions are actually most women's strength."
Rob disagreed with me and said: "My ex-girlfriend was too emotional for me to handle."
Devina: "I disagree. A woman can't be too emotional. Instead of labelling her as ‘TOO’ emotional, or ‘TOO’ anything, you might want to look at how you handle your emotions. Have you considered a professional to discuss your pain and lack of empathy?"
Rob: "I am fine. She is the one with problems. I don't need any help."
Rob and I continued to argue about whether or not emotions can be a strength.
We argued until I pointed out the facts and enumerated a list for him of recent celebrity suicides, i.e., the men who have committed suicide. These sadly include, but are not limited to: Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams, Avicii, Verne Troyer, Mac Miller, Lil' Chris, and Alexander McQueen.
This devastating choice does not discriminate. Over the years, there are many women among the list of celebrities who have committed suicide as well: Kate Spade, Jiah Khan, and Oksana Shachko. (Source: Wikipedia).
The sad facts show that more men have chosen to end their lives due to their pain, suffering, and depression versus women who have chosen to committed suicide. “In the western world, males die by suicide three times more often than do females. According to literature on gender and suicide, male suicide rates are explained in terms of traditional gender roles. Male gender roles tend to emphasize greater levels of strength, independence, risk-taking behavior, economic status, and individualism. Reinforcement of this gender role often prevents males from seeking help for suicidal feelings and depression.” (Source: Wikipedia).
In other words...most men are unable to handle their emotions, or they do not know how to handle them. Perhaps nobody teaches men how to handle emotions?
People, we need to talk...
This is where I would like to point out that SEXY BRILLIANT welcomes people of all genders.
Coming back to Rob and his story, unfortunately, we label women as "too emotional," and we label men as "too logical" or "too rational." Or, if men are emotional, they are not “manly” enough.
Dr. Dan Goleman discusses emotional intelligence in women in an article for Psychology Today. Science has proven that most women's brains are wired with emotional intelligence. Whereas, most men's brains are wired with rational intelligence (Source: Psychology Today).
The point is that we each have different strengths. Rob breaking up with his long-term girlfriend because she is "too emotional" reflects his own inability to handle HIS OWN emotions. One "intelligence" is not better than the other. In fact, if Rob knew what to do with emotions that arise for him, he might be better equipped to understand what is happening when his girlfriend’s emotions rise to the surface and not be so threatened by them.
Men are not smarter or more brilliant than women, and women are not any less brilliant than men. In fact, each of us is born with unique gifts. The more we KNOW ourselves, the easier it is to accept our ALL of ourselves, including the light and the dark.
I encourage you to spend time in personal development towards a sexier version of yourself through acceptance.
Remember, no part of us is our enemy.
Update regarding Rob: he just messaged me to say he booked an appointment with a therapist. I am thrilled for him and his ongoing personal development.
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