As New Year’s fireworks are abruptly replaced by seemingly GIGANTIC boxes of heart-shaped chocolates with “cutesy” messages like “Sweethearts Forever” and “To My One and Only,“ for those of us flying solo those sentiments translate to “Good luck to all you singles out there!” Dating site memberships surge as singles desperately search for a Valentine’s date to fit into a ONE-DAY holiday that sends a very prominent, inaccurate, and sometimes cruel message:
Single is not okay.
Single is lonely.
If you are single, you are a loser.
Between now and February 14th, we cannot live our lives without being barraged by images of couples deeply in love. Turn on the tv; movies featuring lovers and happy endings explode this time of year. Walk by a store; red roses, heart candies, cards for couples … even clothing stores feature Valentine themed windows. Turn on the radio; ads for romantic dinners and getaways fill our senses. Then there is social media; notifications of events, videos and ads abound with hashtags like #relationshipgoals #boyfriend #girlfriend and #lovers.
There is no escape … no relief.
As the day dreaded by many draws closer, an all too repeated question comes into play: “What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?” For so many, it becomes a time of year where we end up feeling more alone, as we hide-out in our homes to avoid seeing red and pink hearts as much as possible.
The irony is that many people (myself included, until I searched it on the internet to write this article) do not know the actual origins of Valentine’s Day. It began as a celebration of spring in 496, and not as a romantic holiday. All of this couple’s love-stuff that we are being sold is nothing more than capitalism at its best … or worst. Don’t believe me? According to Entrepreneur.com, Valentine’s Day sales in 2016 were in excess of $19.7 billion. It also creates 34 million tons of landfill waste.
Beyond the pressure, the impact and financial expense we are paying an even more dear price, human life. Valentine’s Day has the highest rate of suicide of all of the holidays … even higher than Christmas. The expectation of being in love, of being part of a couple is sadly too great for some to bear. The message of being defective if you are single drowns out the fact that being single is actually powerful. Being alone is not a curse or a disease. Being single carries with it a power that we should never allow to be eclipsed by a human constructed holiday.
At the end of the day even if you are coupled-up nobody is ever going to love you more than you should love yourself. We are all solo even if we are not single. Being single is not a definition of who we are, it is nothing more than a label that describes us. How we look at being solitary is an individual choice … that is powerful.
Choice is POWERFUL.
Don’t get me wrong, I get it. before I learned that being single is powerful I felt so inadequate that I actually struggled with a dating addiction. As a “one” there are times I feel lonely, times I wish to be a part of a couple; if that is meant to be, it will come. We can either focus on what we want, or celebrate what we have, while keeping an open heart for a world of experiences to enter.
With all of this in mind, as a person who celebrates the power of one, I offer to you the ultimate course on self-love and inner wealth: “The Power of Being Single.”
“The Power of Being Single,” is designed to help you embrace the freedom that comes from releasing ourselves from labels and societal expectations. Please join me by subscribing for an exclusive invitation. It is time to take your power out of the hands of outside sources, speak to yourself in the way you deserve, and focus on the limitless power that comes from being ONE.
Thank you for reading. I value your visit IMMENSELY.
I hope this message is received in peace, gratitude, and mutual respect.
Chardi Kalla
(stay in high spirits)
Devina Kaur
