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Not Pregnant. Just Fat.

Updated: Nov 25, 2019

As many of you may know I was born and raised in Asia, more specifically India. I was recently in India and was reminded once again just how obsessed the nation is with fair skin and lean bodies. Everywhere you turn there are ads for skin whitening creams and weight loss products. Growing up in India I always felt like I was not good enough. I was constantly being told I was too fat, too loud, and too ambitious! Being myself felt criminal!

For decades I struggled with low self-esteem because I was not the quiet reserved, skinny, quiet girl that everyone wanted me to be. What first started as a change in taste from big women to skinny women has been corrupted by modern capitalism. As a society, we have become more insecure than ever because our emotions have been commercialized by big corporations who tell us we are not good enough - that we need to be skinnier, less hairy, and smell better in order to be happy. Ad campaigns make us more and more insecure and then sell us products to help us overcome the insecurities they have created.

We deserve a break! We all know that happiness cannot be bought or sold. We need to be kinder to ourselves. We can not change others, but we can definitely be the change we wish to see. One of the best ways to be the change is to practice self-compassion.

Being compassionate to ourselves leads to self-love. Be conscious of self-talk and tune out the inner dialogue that says you are not good enough. There is one personal growth technique that method has worked wonders for my self-esteem. It only takes a few minutes and can be repeated as often as you need: mirror therapy.

Start by looking at yourself in the mirror or taking a selfie. Find three things you appreciate about yourself. Verbalize these thoughts by saying something like 'I love my hair' or 'I have beautiful eyes.' Start with things you already know you love. As the days progress build up to things that you love less. Tell yourself: 'I love my curvy hips' and 'I have cute feet.' Before you know it you will be telling yourself 'I love my fat thighs, and my round belly!'

Appreciating you for who for you are is Sexy Brilliant! Every aspect of you is perfect - perfectly you! Loving ourselves from the inside out is the key to personal growth. Try out mirror therapy today and let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Much love always, Devina Kaur!

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