I have put in a lot of weight in the last year due to overcoming depression and often I am very body conscious but wittingly I know that ... every body is a bikini body!
A few weeks ago I was traveling when I woke up to a stunning sunny morning, I could hear the surf through my window and as I breathed in the glorious island air, I felt the joy of the day ahead fill my heart. I laughed with delight at the thought of jumping into the ocean, already beginning my 100 laughs a day goal.
And then it happened, a soul- crushing thought … a feeling of inadequacy … out of nowhere.
I was putting on my bikini (which was much tighter on me than my last visit ... ) when I caught a glimpse of my fat rolls in the mirror. Suddenly I was overtaken by demoralizing thoughts … reflections created by the world around me instead of the world inside of me.
Often it is our culture and people at home, our own family who fat-shame us and make us feel different! And you know what?
We are different.
We are all individuals.
We are all beautiful.
We all have insecurities.
The truth is, insecurity is a powerful enemy!
Unfortunately, it has become natural (we mistake natural for normal, allowing for even more negative self-talk) for us to second guess ourselves; especially about the things we cannot hide, like our bodies.
Do I have a right to even wear a bikini?
Does a fat person have the right to wear a bikini???
Are the people around me going to make fun of me?
I stood at the mirror staring at myself and my fat body, almost forgetting where I was and why I was putting on a bikini in the first place.
As I looked at myself in the mirror… surveying …critiquing; I caught myself and the way I was speaking to me, I became mindful of my thoughts and reminded myself that I am the same person that I was when I was thinner!
I admired my curves. I am a divine being and like everybody, I am an entity of beauty.
I AM #SexyBrilliant and my body does not define me; I do.
Being conscious of how we speak to ourselves is a gift that we all must use. It is a practice. No matter how challenging it is to overcome our inner blocks created by other people’s judgement of us we have to go back to who we really are – divine Sexy Brilliant beings – and eventually to remain that way.
I encourage you to practice less comparison with others and more acceptance of yourself.
Be a queen next time you put on a bikini; feel like the royalty you are, feel Sexy Brilliant.
Watch my new YouTube video for more on loving the beautiful body you are in.