The end of any relationship is difficult to accept but ending a connection with no apparent reason or explanation can be heartbreaking and sadly it is trending on dating sites.
Perhaps like me, you have been struggling with the awful realization that you have been GHOSTED again; that sinking feeling of loss, frustration and confusion feels so overwhelming when you have invested your heart, your time, and your hopes into what you believed to be a genuine connection with no closure from the ghost on WHY they disappeared.
Getting ghosted is a hurtful way to end a connection and it is happening to people of all genders, but I will address this blog to all the men who have ghosted me recently, with the intent to call out a hurtful dating practice that is immature and can be psychologically, emotionally, and sexually frustrating.
It is unbelievable how many people in the online dating world are just unable to politely say “no thanks”!
Before meeting someone for a first date, or even when we are in a relationship, we are allowed to change our mind about our date and potential partner. In addition our feelings change as we evolve, it is a normal part of growth, but instead of having the courage to say “no thanks” to a potential partner, why are we just left hanging by the other person and wondering what did we do wrong?
“Ghosting is breaking off a relationship by stopping all communication and contact without any apparent warning or justification, as well as ignoring the “ghosted” person’s attempt to make contact, reach out or communicate.” (Wikipedia)
The sheer frustration of understanding the psychology behind this action is what is leading me to open up about my experience.
One common pattern that keeps repeating itself for me in the dating world and perhaps many who are reading this post:
1). We connect, we text, we talk on the phone and we make plans to meet!
2). I get so excited about the opportunity to finally connect with someone in person, so I get a babysitter, take out time from the startup world of my growing business #SEXYBRILLIANT, and leading a global revolution!
3). Men suddenly stop connecting, and then without any warning and with no explanation, the next thing I know I am blocked on social media, cell phones, and they disappear completely—just like a ghost!
When you had plans to meet someone new and suddenly you stop hearing from your date and you wonder if a bus hit them (never mind the level of hormones and hurt from being excited, horny, and disappointed all at once!) it can really take a toll on your self-esteem.
Are you getting ghosted by people you thought you genuinely connected with?
Here are 3 ways to help you heal from the damage and confusion of being Ghosted:
1. Remember that every relationship requires action between two people.
2. If someone is interested in you and the feelings are mutual, then the effort will be equal!
3. It is important to know your own value and self-worth and recognize that GHOSTING is a cowardly and immature way to avoid confrontation when expressing a lack of desire to continue a connection.
#SexyBrilliant Bonus Lesson:
Reflect, Learn, Unlearn, Know, Grow, Accept, and DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY, even dating disasters like dealing with ghosts!
I share these thoughts and my own emotional experiences with the intent to create awareness, in the hopes of lessening the psychological damage and creating more consideration when it comes to marking the people we want or do not want to connect with.
The world desperately needs more care, more doers, and less preachers. We need to be more empathetic when it comes to others because we are all hurting and healing in this world; and I genuinely believe that all of the men I have chatted with online deserve kindness, respect, and polite goodbyes. Being an authentic, courageous, leader starts with each of us choosing to take responsibility for our actions and showing more courtesy to the people we come across, even on dating sites.
Thank you for reading, we hope that this message is received in mutual respect and gratitude.
As always your thoughts, feedback and ideas are most welcome on Sexy Brilliant Global Revolution.
@TheDevinaKaur and Team Devina Kaur
For additional resources please click here to discover our unique 7 week HEARTBREAK Process, it is a 100% FREE giveaway to help in your healing.