It was a cold fall day in Canada, I was sitting across from my blind date with a coffee in my hand. Now this date, Mo, was a stocky man of Mediterranean descent and a ruggedly good looking guy. Our first date went very well, except he kept checking his phone again and again. Yes! I noticed and yes I personally do find it very distracting and rude when someone keeps checking their phone on a first date. To my mind, we should treat a first date like an important business meeting but not an interview. I don’t know what he was checking for but for all I knew he could have been swiping right on some other woman. LOL
About 45 minutes into our date, while I was answering one of his questions, he received a loud notification and suddenly excused himself and started typing out a message.
So I took out my phone and used the opportunity to click a selfie. I also took a picture of him; you know the thing we women do where we take pictures of all things that speak to our heart. He was still busy so I took another picture of me. As we all know there is an art to taking selfies.
You can read about the art of selfies right here - https://goo.gl/ga2oUg
Suddenly, Mo looked at me mockingly:
Narcissistic, aren’t you?, he said.
Me: (I was surprised, but I winked) Maybe, but you still like me, right?
Mo: He snorted.
You can read my views of first date sex here - https://goo.gl/NaVo7D
Even before this first date with Mo, the hot stocky mediterranean guy, I had been doing inner work about self-love.
Yet, his remark bothered me. It stuck to me for a long time and made me dig deeper into myself. Since then I have been seeing a phycologist who is helping me learn and love more about my dark side. Perhaps even the narcissistic me, my therapists is convinced I am not.
So often we think taking selfies is a negative narcissistic thing and perhaps it is. The thing to keep in mind is that even if I am a low level narcissist, I deserve to love that not so good part of me. The more I know about myself, the more I live in awareness of my dark side and as such love myself.
Think about it…
If there were no night, there would be no day.
If there were no cold, we would not know what it is like to be comfortably warm.
If there were no darkness (yin), we would not know what brilliance (yang) is all about.
Remember to love all parts of yourself: the character, the narcissistic qualities, the angry child within, the depression.
ALL of it. And the journey to self-love is love itself.
And to Mo, be careful of the words you use towards yourself and others because the words we use become our reality.
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